Parenting through Childhood Transitions

It’s that time of year where children are moving from Nursery to Primary, from Primary to Secondary, Secondary to College or University.

These periods of transition can feel really challenging for us as parents. We want to be present and help and guide our children through these times of change. And we do this, while the change can feel emotionally tumultuous for us as well.

It can feel exciting and we can notice that our child feels ready for the next challenge. There can be a sense that they have outgrown where they are and it can feel right that they move on. But we can also feel a sadness that a chapter of their life is ending and with it, a chapter of ours. One door opens and another closes.

We might notice that we are anxious for them as they face navigating a new environment. We might notice a sadness within us that a part of their childhood will now be behind us. We are aware of how quickly time seems to pass as we get older and we may feel a real sense of wanting to cling on to moments that will soon be gone. 

Sometimes being present with our child’s perspective on what is happening can be challenging when we are reminded of our own life experiences and past difficulties or hurt. We might notice how friendships sometimes get left behind and the sadness and grief that this can bring. Maybe we feel nostalgic for our past or maybe we look back with some regrets. We look at what our child is experiencing through our adult eyes and we have to judge when our adult wisdom is needed and when it’s best to let them simply be; to experience things as they are without our warnings ringing in their ears.

It’s little wonder that these transitional times can be as significant for us as it is for our children. It’s worth taking time to reflect on how supported you feel through this. Many times we carry the weight of parenting our children through transitions with very little or no support for ourselves.

If a transitional phase in your child’s life is bringing things up for you and you want the space and time to explore that with someone, then counselling sessions may be just what you need. Whether it’s to find ways to navigate increased anxiety or processing a sense of grief or loss; counselling can feel like a real release. Sometimes you may feel you only need a session or two and my doors are open for both short-term and long-term work.